Oh life. Why can’t you be less stressful and more cooperative with me? I am wiping and pouring out salty water from the moment I saw my husband. Today is the day I could think nothing but the upcoming day. When is The Big Day anyway? I feel like it will come anytime soon!
I am broke. I do not know where will I get to have enough money for delivering my baby. It’s my second baby and I want to be independent from my parents and my husband’s parents. We are young and wild and free yet we are still clinging for financial support. I want to earn money–and I want to earn fast. I am counting the days that are remaining before the day that I should let my baby out. Call me useless. Call me lazy. Call me… I don’t know. What I know is I am need of a great amount of money and I lack the courage to stand up for myself.
I am worried. That my husband would be alone taking care of two children and a disabled mother. That my soon-to-be 2-year old boy would be abandoned when his brother comes. That we will look like a pathetic family in the eyes of public. That we will have to live with the uncertainty of what life has in store for us.
I am in a panic. My mind is clouded. I don’t know what to do or what to say or how to restart my life. I need some serious help. I need something light, bright, and something happy. Anyone out there who knows anything about this? Do I sound so complicated? Sorry. It’s just that I could not put myself together right now and I am bursting out like this in front of you.
Have you ever had moments like this? How did you fight this kind of stress? How do you get over with it in a day?