New Baby

Even if he was there, in my mind I was a single mum. I do not know how I even managed to deliver a baby. I just did. My brain isn’t functioning right because if it did I wouldn’t be smiling in the labor room, I wouldn’t be silent when I am pushing the baby outside of my own flesh. Maybe that’s just that. Maybe I was born to deliver the baby with my heart’s content and that I have been prepared for everything. Maybe…

I imagine myself in a rundown apartment, with my little kids running around with luxurious clothes and me, typing in an old laptop which my kids would call: LapToppy. I would be satisfied because I may not have my own house, I may not have finished school, but I earn online big time. I can buy my kids the things they need and want at most and we can eat three to five times a day if we wish. Life isn’t hard if we want it to be easy.

But again, reality strikes and wounds up everything that my crappy little brain is feeding me. I live in an apartment with two kids, two monsters, and a samurai. And I am typing in front of a modern version personal computer which was upgraded to Windows8. See? My brain isn’t working well. But because I am still happy with this, I just want to say that I am now a fully-grown woman with two kids and a partner.

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